Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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