you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
