Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
