Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am spending my child support on dildos
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
