"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
