Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
