xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
