he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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