You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
