we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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