it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
