when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
