I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
