$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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