when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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