i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
