YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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