I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
