i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
