i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
