hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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