Im at strip club and am horny
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
zippers are such a cool invention
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
