D3 body, D1 cock
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
