i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
