i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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