Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
