You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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