My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
