Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's shark week go big or go home
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
