Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
