We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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