I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
