Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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