yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
