Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
