you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
