don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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