Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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