do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
