I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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