I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
