Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
