Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
