May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
