I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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