I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
