so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
