I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
