spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
