Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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